Growing up in Soviet era, I used to celebrate Christmas Eve at my grandmother’s farm in a small village near Prienai. Called Kūčios in Lithuanian (pronounced as koo-chios), the 24^th of December is more important than Christmas day, and is the time best suited for bidding farewell to the year that has passed. It is also an exceptionally family-orientated celebration, with a long standing tradition that encourages inviting a lonely neighbor to join in with the diners.

Being an elderly lady who took care of a self-sufficient little farm, my grandmother made sure everyone obeyed the Christmas Eve rules. She’d bring a small stack of hay and spread it on the table, covering it with a crisp, white table-cover, and the day would be spent preparing the food, and cleaning.

There are no starters, main courses or puddings, as it is customary to prepare a total of twelve dishes, each symbolising one of Jesus’ apostles. All the food must be prepared with local produce, and any exotic ingredients should be avoided. The most popular Christmas Eve dishes include fish, herring, pulses, vegetables, mushrooms, sauerkraut, dried fruit, small bread biscuits with poppy seed milk, and bread.

The main, traditional dish of the night, called Kūčia (koo-cha) is made from poppy seeds, grains, pulses, and hemp seeds mixed with nuts, honey and water. No meat is allowed on the menu. During the evening, everyone can help themselves to any meal they want in any particular order, but they must have at least some of each.

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BBC’s Evan Davis, giving an overview of immigration impact on the British economy:

“If migrants eat 8% of our food, it would be silly to think that in the absence of migrants, the native British would eat 8% more.”

The Guardian’s Andrew Heydon’s review of a dance performance by Lithuanian Lora Juodkaite:

“As far as the British are concerned, Lithuania is virtually interchangeable with Latvia, Slovakia, Slovenia and Estonia - regardless of how offensive, geographically wrong-headed and ignorant that is - right?”

Tim Dowling does more to reveal the common stereotypes of East European migrants than any blog like this could do in years

“Eastern Europeans are sometimes accused of behaving as they would at home on the roads, but Poland has the strictest drink-driving laws in Europe, so perhaps they were just trying to adapt to Scottish custom.”

Tom Hamilton from the Daily Record on what kind of immigrants Scotland needs

“Since the 1950s, more than 800,000 people have left Scotland. With a low birth rate and an ageing population, we desperately need to attract more immigrants to maintain our standards of living.”

Lithuanian migrant worker Tanya Anderson, from Maryport, reveals to Times & Star that:

“The only negative thing was that when I said I was Lithuanian, people thought straight away that I work in the fish factory. We don’t all work in the fish factory.”

To be honest, I am baffled. I’ve been rummaging through the darkest corners of my memory trying to recall the name of at least one ‘one-legged Lithuanian lesbian’ that would be not only world-famous, but notorious, too. So notorious, in fact, that rumours of such an individual had reached the ears of Mr David Cameron, who was so horrified at the thought that he couldn’t resist using it in what has become the strangest gaffe to make the headlines recently.

Oh dear. And we tried so hard to shake off the international image of being ‘Lithuanians with sharp teeth crawling up the beach with golf clubs to beat your brains out’ (as Mel Gibson famously put it).

However, the “Lithuanian lesbian” slip-up is not just about Lithuanians. It’s a wonderful example of a comment that can upset many more people other than just Lithuanians. What about disabled people? What about the sexual minorities? You don’t have to be Lithuanian to get offended! Continue Reading »

As the famous advert goes, ‘Can hate be good? Can hate be great? Can hate be something we don’t hate?’ I’m not so sure anymore. These two stories happened to me in the last half of a year, in both cases while travelling on South West Trains.

On the first occasion, I took a late night train from Guildford to get home. The carriage was rather empty, but at the very end of it I could hear a group of local youngsters ‘messing about’. Their mobiles were blasting with music tunes, the boys were joking around, and the girls were laughing as loud as they could. The ticket collector approached the group and asked politely to remove their feet from the seats and to keep the noise levels to a minimum; otherwise, he would have to ask them to leave the train. Oh dear, the man had his best intentions, but not the best ones for me.

So, the whole group moved down the carriage where I sat. Even though there was plenty of space for as far as you could see, they specifically chose to land onto the seats next to mine.

One boy, not older than 13, asked me a question which I didn’t catch.

‘Pardon me?’ – I asked. I shouldn’t have, I know that now because they heard my accent.

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1. I can speak English. I also understand English, and quite a few of the accents, although getting the jokes is sometimes tricky. So, I use subtitles while watching ‘Have I got news for you’ or ‘Mock the week’.

2. I show interest in sports. I can’t call myself a footie gal, but I do watch snooker, and find curling rather amusing.

3. I love pets or animals in general. I would report anyone hurting or kicking their dog to RSPCA without a doubt. I adore watching birds, squirrels and even slugs which seem to be in plentiful number this year.

4. I love a good laugh. I don’t get upset being called ‘sneaky f***g Russian’ as a joke like Boris the Blade from Snatch, even though I am Lithuanian.

5. I absolutely love walks in the countryside.

6. I don’t despise tea with milk, and I always look forward to the occasional full English breakfast. I’ve even come to love custard and Yorkshire pudding. Marmite is still in the pipeline though.

7. I celebrate Easter, Christmas, Mother’s and Valentine’s Day, and of course it’s hard to complain about general Bank Holidays (except that there are not enough of them). I also post tens of Christmas cards, and I sign them all personally. I even send RSVPs to event/function organisers if I am asked to.

8. I remember to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, and will send out ‘Thank You’ cards / emails / letters as appropriate after attending a meeting, an event, a reception or a dinner party. I will even send ‘Thank you’ cards to estate agents and solicitors if they did a good job. I try to give feedback and testimonials to the companies who performed well, and give feedback (or complain) if they didn’t.

9. I will wait in queues at the Post Office. I will even let someone go ahead of me if they are merely getting one letter sent, and I have a pile of packages of various sizes. I gave up the queue jumping technique a long time ago.

10. I say ‘sorry’ if someone bumps into me.

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